You thrive on excitement and the unexpected.

Your sexual energy builds quickly, so you realize that you’re turned on before or as you become physically aroused.

When you’re in a relationship, you tend to desire sex more often than your partner does.

About 75% of men and 15% of women have a spontaneous desire style.

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Why this distinction is important:

Your desire style may make it easier to get in the mood, but it can also cause frustration if you’re with a partner who has a responsive desire style. 

Responsive means that someone gets in the mood after the sexy things start happening and they are highly impacted by their mood and environment. 

Learning how to work with both desire styles makes it easier to improve your connection with each other, in and out of bed.

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Wonderlust’s recommendation:

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Mindful Intimacy Card Deck

You love excitement and spontaneity, so why not bring that energy into your intimacy?

This deck is designed to spark playful, unexpected moments of connection—no routine, no pressure, just pure exploration.

Whether you're in the mood for deep conversations or sensual adventures, each card is a new opportunity to ignite desire in the moment. Use it on your next date night or anytime you want to turn up the heat.

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You thrive on emotional connection and need the right context to ignite your desire.

Your sexual energy builds gradually, generally requiring a stronger bond with your partner.

More often than not, you may feel physically aroused before realizing that you are desiring sex.

Roughly 85% of women and 25% of men have a responsive desire style. 

Sometimes your desire may feel more spontaneous, like in the beginning of a relationship or during vacation when you’re relaxed, but it usually reverts to being more responsive on a regular basis.

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Why this distinction is important:

We’ve been brought up to think sex should be spontaneous, so if you are not in the mood right away, you may assume you don’t want it.

As this repeats, you may start believing you have low libido, when in reality, you probably just have a responsive desire style. That’s why learning how to work with your responsive desire can transform your confidence and connection in the bedroom.

In fact, simply knowing the difference between the two desire styles has been shown by studies to improve libido and other aspects of sexual functioning. 

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Wonderlust’s recommendation:

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The Art of Sexual Desire Masterclass

If you’ve ever wondered why you’re not instantly “in the mood” like your partner—or like you used to be—you’re not alone. Your desire isn’t broken; it just works differently.

The Art of Sexual Desire is designed to help you understand and embrace your responsive desire style, so you can experience more pleasure, arousal, and excitement in bed.

Through expert guidance and practical exercises, you’ll learn how to create the right conditions for intimacy, spark desire more naturally, and feel more connected to yourself and your partner.

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Mindful Intimacy Card Deck

When intimacy feels more like a slow burn than a sudden spark, building connection is key to unlocking your desire.

The Mindful Intimacy Card Deck helps create the right context for arousal—one that feels safe, playful, and exciting. With conversation starters, sensual prompts, and guided exploration, it encourages deeper connection and helps you ease into intimacy at your own pace.

Perfect for date nights or anytime you want to feel closer, emotionally and physically.

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