Anonymous question:
"I used to love it when my husband touched my breasts, but ever since breastfeeding, they feel strictly functional. I don’t want them touched at all, and I feel like I’ve lost a part of my sexuality. Will this ever change?"
If the idea of your partner touching your breasts feels anywhere between meh and absolutely not —you are far from alone . In fact, this shift is so common among breastfeeding parents that it’s shocking we don’t talk about it more.
A study published in the Journal of Midwifery & Women’s Health found that 33.3% of women disliked changes in the size, shape, and sensitivity of their breasts during breastfeeding (Avery et al., 2000).
One minute, they’re a major erogenous zone, part of sex, pleasure, and connection. The next? They’re leaking milk, engorged, sore, or maybe completely numb—and suddenly, they feel like they belong to your baby, not to you or your partner .
Because here’s the truth: Your relationship with your body—especially your breasts—completely changes after having a baby.
If this feels confusing, frustrating, or like a loss of a part of yourself, that makes perfect sense. But let’s break down why this happens, why it’s normal, and what (if anything) you can do about it .
1. The Biology of Why Your Breasts Feel… Different During pregnancy and postpartum, hormones completely reshape how your body responds to breast stimulation . Here’s what’s happening under the surface:
Prolactin Takes Over Prolactin is the hormone responsible for milk production.
It suppresses testosterone and estrogen , which are key players in sexual arousal.
The result? Your breasts become more functional, less erotic .
Oxytocin Is Working Overtime Oxytocin (the bonding hormone) is released during breastfeeding and skin-to-skin contact with your baby.
It creates an intense emotional connection with your child , making breast contact feel nurturing rather than sexual.
This can also lead to feeling “touched out” , where any extra physical contact—especially from your partner—feels overstimulating instead of pleasurable.
Nerve Sensitivity Shifts Some breastfeeding parents lose sensation in their nipples due to hormonal changes and repeated stimulation.
Others become hypersensitive , where any touch feels uncomfortable rather than pleasurable.
And some experience random letdowns (milk release) when aroused, which can feel unexpected or even embarrassing.
None of this means your breasts are permanently off-limits for pleasure. But it does mean that your body is in a different mode right now—and that’s okay.
2. Why This Shift Feels So Personal For a lot of women, this change doesn’t just feel physical—it feels like a loss of sexual identity.
We live in a culture where breasts are hypersexualized. They’re everywhere—advertising, TV, movies—constantly portrayed as the ultimate symbol of attraction and desire.
So when that part of you suddenly stops feeling sexual , it can feel like something has been taken away. You might wonder:
Will I ever want my breasts touched again? Will my partner still find me attractive? Am I just… a mom now? And here’s where things get complicated: Your partner might feel just as confused as you do.
If breast play was a big part of your intimacy before, they may not understand why that’s suddenly off-limits. And without communication, it can lead to hurt feelings, misunderstanding, or even emotional distance.
The key? Talk about it.
You don’t have to say, “I hate when you touch my breasts now.” Instead, try:
“Breastfeeding has made my body feel really different, and I’m still adjusting. Right now, my breasts don’t feel sexual for me, but I’d love to explore other ways we can connect.”
This keeps the conversation open without shutting your partner down.
3. If You Want to Reclaim Breast Pleasure, Start Here For some women, breast eroticism naturally returns once breastfeeding ends. For others, it takes some intentional effort to reconnect with that part of their body. If you want to explore that, here are a few steps to start:
Give Yourself Time Postpartum recovery isn’t just about the first six weeks—it can take months or even years for your body to feel like your own again.
There is no timeline for when your breasts feel pleasurable again.
Shift Focus to Other Erogenous Zones If breast touch is a no-go, experiment with other areas that feel good—neck, thighs, lower back.
This can help rewire your brain to associate intimacy with pleasure again, rather than just function.
Reintroduce Touch Slowly (On Your Terms) Instead of jumping back into full breast play, start small:
Self-touch in a non-sexual way (like slowly applying lotion) to reconnect with sensation.Ask your partner to touch you gently (but with no expectation of arousal).Experiment outside of breastfeeding times, so your body isn’t in feeding mode.
Separate Mom Mode from Sexual Self Try intentional transitions between caregiving and intimacy—like changing into something that makes you feel attractive, taking a warm bath, or self-pleasuring as a mindful practice to connect with yourself and your sensations.
Remove Pressure Some women never return to loving breast play—and that’s okay.
What matters is finding what feels good for you now , rather than forcing yourself to be who you were before.
Big Picture: You Haven’t Lost Yourself—You’re Evolving The biggest thing to remember?
Your body isn’t the same as it was before pregnancy. And that’s not a bad thing.
Just like everything else in life, your relationship with sex, pleasure, and intimacy evolves. What felt good before may not feel good now—and that’s okay. What matters is that you honor where you are and explore where you want to go next.
So if you’re wondering, Will I ever want my breasts touched again? —the answer is: Maybe, but it’s on your terms.
And that’s exactly how it should be.
